Pearls

The birth of a pearl is truly a miraculous event. Unlike gemstones or precious metals that must be mined from the earth, pearls are grown by live oysters far below the surface of the sea. Gemstones must be cut and polished to bring out their beauty. But pearls need no such treatment to reveal their loveliness. They are born from oysters complete -- with a shimmering iridescence, lustre and soft inner glow unlike any other gem on earth.

A natural pearl begins its life as a foreign object, such as a parasite or piece of shell that accidentally lodges itself in an oyster's soft inner body where it cannot be expelled. To ease this irritant, the oyster's body takes defensive action. The oyster begins to secrete a smooth, hard crystalline substance around the irritant in order to protect itself. This substance is called "nacre." As long as the irritant remains within its body, the oyster will continue to secrete nacre around it, layer upon layer. Over time, the irritant will be completely encased by the silky crystalline coatings. And the result, ultimately, is the lovely and lustrous gem called a pearl.

How something so wondrous emerges from an oyster's way of protecting itself is one of nature's loveliest surprises. For the nacre is not just a soothing substance. It is composed of microscopic crystals of calcium carbonate, aligned perfectly with one another, so that light passing along the axis of one crystal is reflected and refracted by another to produce a rainbow of light and color.




Dallas says that I would be the worst drug addict ever.  I hate being on drugs, I hate that cloudy and confused feeling when I can't clear the cobwebs out of my brain. I had surgery on Thursday to implant my port into my collarbone area. The port has a tube that opens near my heart. It's essentially a permanent IV, I will receive my chemotherapy through my port and blood can be drawn from my port without having to find a vein. 

Because of the location of the cancer, there is a very good chance that my radiation will effect my fertility. When I went in for my surgery, my OB-GYN moved my ovaries up into my belly to protect them from my radiation. When I have my big surgery in a couple of months, they will move them back. This type of surgery is called laparoscopic ovarian transposition. Basically I now have a sweet scar on my shoulder, two on each side of my belly button and one above my belly button. Yes, I'm not too happy about the plethora of scars on my abdomen, but the way I figure, the one on my shoulder means I get to watch my kids grow up and the ones on my belly mean that there is a good chance we will get to have more. Once all of my cancer is cleared up, we're going to pray that God sends us a miracle baby.

Recovery from my surgery has been okay. I ended up staying at the hospital overnight to help me get the pain under control. I'm home now and I'm recovering, slowly but surely. I always freak out when I come out of my anesthesia and I hate having to take all of the drugs that make me sleepy. I hate having to be taken care of like a newborn, I hate that I can't pick up my own kids, I hate that I am so foggy I can barely string a sentence together. What's the point of all of my whining and complaining? The thing I learned today is that it's okay if life sucks sometimes. It's okay that I think the fact that I have cancer kind of sucks. It's okay if you have a crappy day. Because whether you like it or not, sometimes you've got a piece of sand stuck in your oyster body. Pretending like it's not there doesn't make it disappear. The thing that matters is what you do about it. I love this quote by Elder Holland, "Yes, life has its problems, and yes, there are negative things to face, but please accept one of Elder Holland’s maxims for living—no misfortune is so bad that whining about it won’t make it worse."


During Biblical times, oxen were used to work the soil. The prick or goad was a necessary devise. The prick was usually a wooden shaft with a pointed spike (prick) at one end. The man working the ox would position the goad in such a way as to exert influence and control over the ox. You see, if the ox refused the command indicated by the farmer, the goad would be used to jab or prick the ox. Sometimes the ox would refuse this incentive by kicking out at the prick. As result, the prick would be driven deeper into the flesh of the rebellious animal. The more the animal rebelled, the more the animal suffered. 


When an oyster had a piece of shell stuck in its body, it can whine about it, but that doesn't solve the problem. It can kick against it, but that still doesn't solve the problem. The oyster takes defensive action.  It creates a material that surrounds the cause of the pain and over time, with a lot of persistence, it layers the irritant with a silky smooth nacre until it turns the uncomfortable and painful object into something beautiful. It channels its frustration into action. I've met a lot of people in my life who have had hard times. I've seen some people whine and complain and kick against the pricks until their trial turned into a nasty, bleeding blister. And I've seen some people take a terrible trial and turn it into the most beautiful pearl you've ever seen.

I was singing "I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus" to Big Sister before bed tonight and I had an interesting thought. If Jesus lived my life, I don't think He would complain nearly as much as I do. I don't think He would be as grouchy with my family. I don't think He would be so irritable and frustrated. I think He would be much more patient and kind than I am.  


The last few days haven't been my best. But starting right now, I am going to try so much harder to turn my trial into a pearl. I'm going to try harder to focus on the things I do have, not the things I don't.  


I first read this quote at my bishop's house. I love it, it is a good reminder to me when I get too caught up in everything being perfect, or that everything seems so broken. Our life is far from perfect, but it is a wonderful life that I wouldn't change for anything.

This is Big Sister's favorite song lately. She sings it all. day. long. I remember when I was little I would sit out on the swing set in my backyard and sing this song and swing for hours. It's easy to forget that Heavenly Father loves you, that's why He gave us so many things to help us remember.