Imported from 2/15/2012
Have you ever gotten a big bear hug?
Have you ever gotten a big bear hug?
This is seriously the cheesiest picture ever but I think it illustrates the point.
When I was little I remember running up to my dad and he would give me the biggest, tightest hug. It's a very good feeling, but it's also kind of overwhelming because your arms are pinned down and you can't breathe. Even with the slightly claustrophobic, lung crushing feelings; no matter what, you just feel so loved. The last few days I feel like I have gotten the biggest tightest bear hug from gobs of people who care about us. It's the most comforting, overwhelming feeling I think I've ever had. I'm still working on texting/emailing/calling everyone back, I just wanted to let everyone know how much I love and appreciate their love. If I haven't gotten back to you, it's not because I don't want to talk to you. Things have just been kind of crazy at our house. I'm kind of a pain in the butt, opinionated, open-mouth-insert-foot kind of person, but I think I must have done something right in my life to be surrounded by so many wonderful people. I'm grateful for every one of you, more than you could ever know.
Today we got the pathology results back. It's officially rectal cancer. Yes, not the most glamourous cancer. I think the average person diagnosed is like a 75 years old smoker. There's no cute pink merchandise associated with it like breast cancer's "save the boobies" bracelets and what not. We have an appointment with the oncologist next week and we will hopefully have a few more answers after that. In the meantime we get to, guess what...hold tight and wait.
Dallas and the girls are doing great. I am married to the most supportive, loving, strong man. He has been so kind, so willing to pick up the extra slack, and willing to lay awake until 3 am(!) just listening to me ramble about my worries, concerns, etc. I've been in a foul mood today and he is the kind of person who will lovingly tell me like it is, which is exactly what I need. The girls are doing really good. It's no fun when Mom is sick and not feeling up to doing a whole lot, but they have been great, all things considered. Big Sister has been praying for my "big owie cancer" to get better. The other day I was in a lot of pain and she climbed up on my lap and said, "I hold you Mom, ok? And you feel better. It's okay." Little Sister is the funniest and happiest little girl. She has been giving me lots of extra kisses and hugs lately and seems to understand that sometimes I really need her to just sit on my lap and snuggle with me. They are amazing little people, I know we are going to get through this trial together.
I was planning on posting about all the lessons we have learned so far, wonderful tender mercies we have had, etc. but it's late and I think I'd rather spend the rest of the night snuggled up on the couch with Dallas, so I'll save that post for another day. I'll just close with the hymn we sang in Sacrament Meeting on Sunday. It's all so good I included all of the verses, but 3 and 4 especially spoke to me this week.
1. How firm a foundation ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in his excellent word;
What more can he say than to you he hath said?
You, who unto Jesus, for refuge have fled.
Is laid for your faith in his excellent word;
What more can he say than to you he hath said?
You, who unto Jesus, for refuge have fled.
2. In ev'ry condition - in sickness in health,
In poverty's vale, or abounding in wealth,
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea,
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.
In poverty's vale, or abounding in wealth,
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea,
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.
3. “Fear not, I am with thee; O be not dismayed!
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
4. “When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o'erflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
5. “When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace all-sufficient shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design,
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.
My grace all-sufficient shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design,
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.
6. “E'en down to old age, all my people shall prove
My sov'reign eternal, unchangeable love;
And then, when grey hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in my bosom be borne.
My sov'reign eternal, unchangeable love;
And then, when grey hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in my bosom be borne.
7. “The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose,
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes:
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never - no, never, no, never forsake!”
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes:
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never - no, never, no, never forsake!”
Your girls are the cutest! And they did catch it early so I hope your treatments will knock it right out of the park and that you'll never have to deal with it again! When Brian got his gallbladder out, his Gastrologist actually had rectal cancer or maybe it was colon, is that the same thing? And he had beat it, so I know you will too! Let me know if you need anything or want someone to come and just sit with ya! I totally will!
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