The Master Healer

"For behold, I am God; and I am a God of miracles; and I will show unto the world that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever; and I work not among the children of men save it be according to their faith." 2 Nephi 27:23


I do not, by any stretch of the imagination, have an extraordinary amount of faith. I try very hard, and my faith is strengthened every day, but I have a long ways to go.  I mentioned in one of my previous posts that they were having difficulty classifying my cancer and I had a second biopsy taken. The preliminary results came back inconclusive again, so my oncologist, Dallas, and myself decided the best and safest thing to do would be to treat it as if it is the more aggressive form of cancer, which mean six weeks of chemo and radiation, major surgery,  six weeks of recovery, and five more months of chemotherapy. It would also mean spending more time apart because Dallas' military duties would call him away before I would be done with treatment. I started chemotherapy and radiation about two weeks ago. Radiation is pain free, but the chemotherapy left me very tired, weak, and nauseous. I received it in a pump that I wore continuously around my waist, so I was constantly receiving small amounts of chemotherapy. 


One night, about five days in, I had a really rough evening. I prayed for some relief and some comfort. My husband gave me a beautiful blessing and I went to bed with peace in my heart. The next morning, my oncologist called me. They had sent my biopsy off to a specialist that diagnoses cancers at Harvard University. Apparently he is the best cancer pathologist in the world. He looked at it in a variety of ways and classified my cancer as a very rare subset of skin cancer that develops in the rectal region. He discussed this with several other pathologists and they were all 100% confident that this was the correct diagnosis. The amazing news was this: the success rate for treating this cancer is sky-high, about as good as it gets with cancer. The treatment consists of 6 weeks of chemo and radiation...and nothing else. No surgery, no lengthy chemotherapy. I will do periodic biopsies over the next few years until they are completely confident it isn't coming back. Some people may call it a blessing, but we know that our family was blessed with a miracle. Many of the people who have this type of cancer are never properly diagnosed and end up going though much more rigorous and damaging treatment than is necessary to cure their cancer. 


When I got off the phone with my oncologist, I just cried. I couldn't believe it, I wasn't expecting it, and I didn't think it was possible. I went in my bedroom, got down on my knees, and just cried. My heart was so full of gratitude that I felt like it would burst. I know that our prayers were answered because there have been so many people who have petitioned the Lord on our behalf. I know there are many people who have been praying for our family, praying and fasting for a miracle, and I know that He heard those prayers and answered them.


"I am led to believe that our Heavenly Father loves us so much that the things that are important to us become important to Him, just because He loves us. How much more would He want to help us with the big things that we ask, which are right?

Little children, young people, and adults alike, please believe how very much your loving Heavenly Father wants to bless you. But because He will not infringe upon our agency, we must ask for His help. This is generally done through prayer. Prayer is one of the most precious gifts of God to man." Elder J. Devn Cornish

I am eternally grateful for the precious gift of prayer, and I am so grateful for the many people who have prayed and continue to pray for our little family. On Monday I started my second round of chemotherapy. I received a very intense type of chemo in my IV at the office, and I went home with an IV bag of a second type of chemotherapy that I finished up with today. I'm grateful that I have felt better than I was expecting, but let's just say that this week has tested my patience. The last few weeks have been very, very painful. I have experienced pain before, but I had never experienced pain that lasted what has seemed like an eternity. The continual, constant pain has brought me to my knees on more than one occasion, wondering if there would ever be any relief. I listened to a beautiful conference talk last night titled "The Atonement Covers All Pain." 

 "Sometimes in the depth of pain, we are tempted to ask, 'Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there?' I testify the answer is yes, there is a physician. The Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all these conditions and purposes of mortality." Elder Kent F. Richards. 

I can testify, through personal experience, that there is no pain too deep and no heart too broken for Jesus Christ to heal. 

"And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witness for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do comfort my people in their afflictions. 

And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord." Mosiah 24:14-15 (emphasis added)

“No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire." Elder Orson F. Whitney

I'm far from perfect. I whine and complain; I can be demanding and selfish. I have no idea how I would get through this trial without my wonderful husband and the countless other people who treat me better than I deserve. I don't know why I have been so blessed, but I do know of a surety that the Lord comforts His people in their afflictions. Every time I have felt like I am at the end of my rope, if I reach out my hand, He takes it. Not sometimes, not usually; every time. I have been held up and sustained by the faith of others, those who have allowed themselves to be tools in the hands of the Master Healer. I know that our Father in Heaven loves us so much, and wants us to become who we truly are--sons and daughters of God. I'm thankful that He loves me enough to try me, and I'm thankful that He loves me enough to provide me with relief through our Savior Jesus Christ. I have felt His healing balm in my life and I know He will heal all those who come to Him with humble hearts. I add my testimony to Elder Richards:

"Our great personal challenge in mortality is to become 'a saint through the atonement of Christ.' The pain you and I experience may be where this process is most measured. In extremity, we can become as children in our hearts, humble ourselves, and 'pray and work and wait' patiently for the healing of our bodies and our souls. As Job, after being refined through our trials, we 'shall come forth as gold.'

I bear testimony that He is our Redeemer, our Friend, our Advocate, the Great Physician, the Great Healer. In Him we can find peace and solace in and from our pain and our sins if we will but come unto Him with humble hearts. His 'grace is sufficient.' In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

How could the Father tell the world of love and tenderness?

He sent his Son, a newborn babe, with peace and holiness.

How could the Father show the world the pathway we should go?

He sent his Son to walk with men on earth that we may know.

How could the Father tell the world of sacrifice, of death?

He sent his Son to die for us and rise with living breath.

What does the Father ask of us? What do the scriptures say?

Have faith, have hope, live like his Son. Help others on their way.

What does he ask?

Live like his Son.

What to do when Mommy's Sick?

When I was first diagnosed, Dallas and I decided we wanted to keep our family life as normal as possible. We've had to do some shuffling to make things work when I'm not feeling well, but things are going really well. I was inspired by this post from a friend's blog about what was helpful to them when their little girl passed away. Although our situation isn't nearly as heartbreaking or hard as theirs, we have needed and received some heaven sent support. I wanted to share some of the thoughtful things people have done for our family while we've been struggling that will hopefully inspire those of you who see a family in need and wish you knew what you could do to help. I've heard before that Heavenly Father often answers our prayers through other people, and I have definitely seen that in my own life. "Sometimes the Lord answers our prayers through other people. A good friend, a husband or wife, a parent or other family member, a Church leader, a missionary—any of these individuals may be inspired to perform acts that will answer our prayers. " (lds.org) Thank you to the many, many people that have allowed yourselves to be tools in God's hands to bless my family.

One of my biggest priorities during this whole process is to feel like I am being a good mom and wife, even on the days that I have felt really sick. It's wonderful to have people help you, but it's even better when people help you help yourself. Dallas got me an upright freezer as a late Valentine's Day gift and it has been AMAZING. You know you are a mom when you lose sleep the night before your freezer is delivered because you're so excited. 

Dallas' mom helped me make homemade jam, and on the days I've felt up to cooking, I've made double so I could freeze some familiar recipes for days when I didn't feel up to it.

I'm not saying this to solicit freezer meals, because my freezer is chuck full, but freezer meals are a very thoughtful way to help a family in need. There is a group of (wonderful) ladies in my ward who do a freezer meal swap. They each made an extra meal this month for our family; I am amazed by how thoughtful some people are. It's nice to have meals available for days that you don't feel well, as well as the days that doctor appointments run long, or even days that you are feeling well and you want to spend time doing something fun instead of cooking. Pinterest is a great place to find freezer meal recipes. Here's a few.

Ideas for bringing meals in to new moms.

Ten freezer meals in one day. Complete with shopping lists and printables.

Cheap freezer meals.

A huge list of freezer meals and links

How to freeze food. Timelines, dos and don'ts.

Another thing I decided to do is streamline my chores so that it is easier for me to keep my house clean and have others help when I need it. I based my chart off of one I saw on Pinterest. Seriously, I don't know why everyone talks about Pinterest being such a time waster because it has saved me SO much time.

The original printable chore chart.

I streamlined my menu ideas. (P) means the recipe can be found on Pinterst, (A) means Allrecipes.com

I found this ready-made grocery list at Walmart. You just check the items that you need and take it to the store when you're ready to go (or if you need to send your husband).

I also have a babysitter list on my fridge. My oncologist is here in town and my radiologist is about 30 minutes away. We decided that when we have appointments in town we will try and keep the girls in town and when we go to appointments elsewhere, we'll leave them with the tons of family members that live along the way. I have two lists of babysitters and their phone numbers; those who live in our town or are willing to come to our house, and those who live out of town. That way if something comes up on short notice, we have names and numbers available for anyone who needs to use them. I also have a big family calendar with everything on it for referencing. 

One of the best gifts I've been given is a kit of fun things for our girls to do when I am not feeling well. It's important for kids to get up and play, go outside, run around, and make messes. But if it's the difference between watching movies all day or doing learning activities and cognitive development games, I'll take the second option. 

I'm going to walk you through all the items in my "Sick Kit". Most of the items were given to me, a few of them I added myself. Keep in mind that this is made for my two toddler girls (18 months and 2 1/2) but it could easily be adapted for other ages and for little boys. 

A Sick Kit is a great gift for families in need or to compile for yourself. A few ideas of situations where this could come in handy:

• A pregnant mommy on bedrest.
• When a little one is sick, has surgery, or breaks a bone.
• A mom who is having a rough pregnancy, just had a baby, or to use while breastfeeding.
• For those super fun weeks when the whole family has the flu.
• Quiet time activities for little kids who have outgrown the afternoon nap.
• Portions of it can be taken with you for plane rides, waiting rooms, etc. 

If you think of anymore situations where this might come in handy, leave me a comment and let me know. 

Baby Sister is so proud she did this file folder all by herself! She only had one of them in the wrong spot!

Big Sister being shy. (I only let my kids wear those dorky dresses at home--I promise!)

Big Sister was given this puzzle for her birthday by her Grandma. Lucky for me it's the perfect quiet activity! There are pictures you can swap out and you plug the colored puzzle pieces into the holes. You can find it here.

Dollar store puzzles. Eventually I'm going to put magnets on the back of the puzzle pieces so they can be done on cookie sheets, making it easier to keep track of the pieces.

Got the idea here.

This is one of the few items I added to the kit. Pipe cleaners and colorful beads make the perfect busy activity for toddlers. Each baggy has a pipe cleaner of each color and a handful of beads. We take these to church every week and it keeps our kids entertained for a long time. Our two year old likes to make pretend bracelets and necklaces, but it's also easy enough for our 18 month old. There's tons of other activities you can do to use the 100 pipe cleaners you paid $2 for at Walmart, like having kids wrap them around pencils, through colanders like a puzzle, helping them make animal shapes, words, glasses, etc. Once again, Pinterest is a great place for more ideas. I just typed "pipe cleaner" into the search box and tons of ideas popped up. 

Dry erase letters. My sister found the link to the printable handwriting sheets on Pinterest :) and laminated them. The two laminate books were found at the dollar store.

Printable worksheets here.

Printable handwriting sheets (like the one above) here.

Coloring books and crayons.

Sorry, the picture is sideways. I grabbed some of our more "involved" books that have activities and puzzle pieces inside them--those books that need to be overseen by a parent anyway. Now we only read them during special times.

A floor puzzle

These wooden puzzles all fit in the wooden box you can see in the main picture.

Sister's completed fish project.

Isn't this seriously the coolest idea? All you need are two identical paint sample chips. Glue a strip of each onto clothes pins and you have a color matching puzzle. Best of all, you don't have to worry about laminating because the paint chips are on sturdy card stock.

Similar ideas for busy bags here.

Flash cards

Here's some printable flash cards. Or you can just pay $3 at Walgreen's like I did.

These are flash card puzzle pieces. A good intro to puzzles for young toddlers.

I forgot to include my eye spy kit in the pictures, but we have one of those too!

File Folder Games! File folder games are easy to find online and on Pinterest. (How many times have I said Pinterest in this post?) My mom and sisters (the lovely ladies that put all this fun stuff together) decided to skip a step and printed everything off on a colored printer so they didn't have to color. They put all of them in a pink accordion file folder (you can see it in the main picture). If you are thinking about making file folder games, make some for the age your child is now and for when they get older. They're going to outgrow the folders eventually and if you're like me, making file folders is a once a decade activity.

Here, here, and here are some websites to help you get started.

What sick kit is complete without a doctor's kit to help mommy feel better? I found this on Black Friday for $8

Thanks again Mom, Hailey, and Emily for a lifesaving gift!

(The links go to their respective Pinterest pages on kid's activities that have even more great ideas)

And for good measure, here's my Pinterest page.

I hope no one I know ever has to hear their daughter say in their nighttime prayers, "Please bless Mommy's cancer get better," but I hope one day I'll be able to pass this on to help someone else as much as it has helped us.

Here's an article on 40 ways to entertain kids while lying down and how to entertain kids when you are too tired to play.

Cancer Update: If you read this whole post just because you wanted an update, I'm really sorry because I have no new news. I had my second biopsy on Thursday and now I'm just waiting for that to come back so I can start my chemotherapy and radiation. I don't think there's been anyone who's ever been as excited to start cancer treatment :)